For the short story reader. Updated every Monday.

The Short Form

“Me and My Sacred Cow”

Tania Malyarchuk


Auntie Ant sits at the store counter. She's an aged saleswoman, who thinks it's a matter of honor to remain in the empty store till the very end. She eyes my cow melancholically, and the cow pleadingly eyes Auntie Ant. If I hadn't come in right then, Auntie Ant would surely have said to the cow: “Hello! How can I help you?”

“Daisy! Come home! I promise I won't beat you,” I say wearily. And, “Hello, ma'am,” I address Auntie Ant. “How about slaughtering this cow? You'll finally have something to sell.”

Auntie Ant is delighted, but quickly comes to her senses:

“Wouldn't your Grandma mind?”

“We won't tell her. I'll say that the cow has been taken to the insane asylum.”

At last two crazies come home. Grandma anxiously peers out of the gate.