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“Sarah Palin Night”

Agustín Fernández Mallo


It was a Sunday afternoon, siesta time: my phone buzzed in my pocket. ‘Is this Austiín Fernández Mallo?’ ‘Yes, who is this?’ ‘The Republican Party Department of Lotteries and Prize Draws, Washington D.C., we are calling to inform you that you have won.’ ‘Won? Won what?’ ‘Isn't this Austiín Fernández Mallo, a Spaniard residing in the city of Chicago?’ 

I know I should have told the truth to that female, Puerto Rican-inflected voice, I know I should have told her that that was a different Agustín, that I was not currently vacationing in Spain, that I did not work as a teller at Bank of America branch no. five in the city of Chicago, that I was not 34 years old, the fact is, I should have said many things I did not say because, following my reply in the affirmative, the Puerto Rican woman informed me that I had won a trip to accompany the vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin on the campaign trail. It’s not that I have anything against accompanying a potential US Vice President, but rather that I would all of a sudden be obliged to request my one month vacation allowance. I was at that time bogged down in the writing of a blow-by-blow account of Great Britain in the seventies, focusing on sitcoms and the onset of punk, and I had set that month aside to watch the six seasons of George and Mildred back-to-back (available at El Corte Inglés, on sale right now).

We read it in The White Review.

Translated by: Michael Devitt. Full story online.